Imagine the weight you want to be.
You really really really want to be that goal weight. You have for a long time. There are various reasons… You have this memory of being that weight and rocking every outfit. Maybe it’s the size you were when you met your partner or when you got married. Maybe it’s the size you were before you had children. Or maybe you’ve never been that goal weight you just read that {insert name here} celebrity is that weight and you think she’s beautiful.
For one of our clients that number was “140.” She remembered being that weight in high school. It was the last weight she wore a bikini in.
She had two children in 18 months so her weight fluctuated but was steadily climbing. She knew it was from inactivity and shoving whatever in her mouth in those early years of having babies. (Side note: no big deal. Any food is better than no food!) She ran a little, strength trained a little, and tried dieting. Beachbody and Weight Watchers both led her to lose weight… And then gain. Her shame and hopelessness grew with each diet she “failed.” And she would go long periods without working out at all because she was so discouraged.
She found herself at 200 lbs, uncomfortable in her body, a long list of unhealthy habits that included binge eating and too much alcohol, and mentally feeling just awful about her body and who she was as a person.
Then she found Healthy Habits Happy Moms (and Balance 365), body acceptance, and the damn truth that all this time dieting, hating her body, and swinging between extremes was what was standing in her way of reclaiming her body.
It was slow. It started with a movement habit. Then a meal habit. Then a vegetable habit. And so on. That’s how Balance 365 goes. You keep building and every habit builds on the next one until you slowly start putting those tiny pieces together.
She lost forty pounds. She was comfortable, happy, moving her body, eating well, eating treats, socializing on weekends, still having drinks…. She had found moderation.
Yet she couldn’t shake her “goal weight.” Her “I’m worthy to wear a bikini weight.”
And instead of just saying, “hey i’m good here! This is it. This is what life is all about!” She thought, “this is just a plateau that I have to push through.”
So she pushed. And that push is what tipped her from having healthy, moderate habits into having unhealthy *for her* habits of avoiding social situations, being rigid with her diet, exercising well beyond what was sustainable for her, and not drinking altogether. Instead of moving towards the coveted “goal weight” she started putting on weight. Why? Because “doubling down” and “working hard” for this “goal weight” took her right back to the restrictive ways that Beachbody and Weight Watchers had triggered in her. Binge eating followed by shame followed by moping and inactivity followed by more doubling down followed by bingeing… You get the picture.
So she disappeared. Which is so freaking sad because size and weight mean nothing to me, Annie and Lauren. We care about your emotional health, because physical health and normalizing eating patterns follow that… Not the other way around. We didn’t hear from her again until she was 200 lbs.
We talked it out. Because that’s what we do in Balance 365. We don’t shame, we process and strategize. And now she’s back to focusing on the process, of building a lifestyle that is sustainable for *her.* She is finally, as she puts it, “accepting the process.”
This story is EXACTLY why we do not care about weight and don’t think it should be anyone’s primary driver. Many people’s “goal weights” are unrealistic and they will be forced into making some unhealthy, dangerous, and unsustainable choices to get there. For what? A size? Twenty pounds? Come on. Our society glamourizes weight loss like an Olympic sport, applauding people for their “performance” without thought to the consequences for that person, their family, our society. (And if you do reach your “goal weight” and can maintain it… Great. That was a realistic for YOU. Everyone is different.)
The diet industry fails. We aren’t just slamming the door in your face and telling you that your goals aren’t valid. We’re trying to show you guys there is another option out there that isn’t extreme and dangerous but it also isn’t dramatic and sexy. It’s just slowly implementing healthy habits to help you build a life that FEELS good for you.
What is better:
Working out six days a week for two months on then taking four months off?
Or
Working out twice per week 365 days a year (ish).
Eating vegetables and lean protein six days a week and then binge eating on your seventh day?
Or
Eating a wide variety of foods including your favourite snacks and treats 365 days per year (ish).
Telling yourself you’re disgusting a few times a year so you’re “motivated” to diet and exercise?
Or
Telling yourself you should pursue healthy habits of eating well, moving your body, getting sleep and self care, connecting with friends, etc…. 365 days per year (ish).
Now who is ready to STOP imagining the goal weight they want to be and START imagining the lifestyle they want to lead?
Me!!!!
